To our thirty followers, just know that you are the most perfect, magical and sexually appealing creatures that I have ever been stalked by. And trust me, I get stalked all the time. I don’t know why.

Maybe it’s because of my good looks. Maybe it’s my sophisticated sense of humor. Or maybe it’s because of my never ending charisma and beautiful eyes…There was this one girl I shagged once who was really into feet. She’d rather suckle on my big toe than have real sex. Needless to say that one didn’t last long, haha…aaaah.

What were we talking about?